Ramblings

I've found as I get older, that friends are harder to come by.  I first thought it might be my personality as I age.  You know how wine gets finer with age.  Yeah...not so much.  I think I've gotten a little more cynical.  I've got a little more "I don't give a darn" in me.  Now, don't get me wrong those long-time friends that might be reading.  I know what you're thinking "um..Tiff, you've always had a little of that", but I think I may be getting worse!  Maybe it makes you better?  *shrugs*  I don't know.   Back to the friends tie-in here...before I lose my train of thought.  

Friends seem like their harder to come by.  Maybe it's because when you're at this age - you're not in school and if you're not partying, you're not meeting as many new people.  At this stage in my life, some things have fallen by the wayside in favor of sanity.  My poor toenails, for example may be the cause of said problem coming by friends.  No one ones to see a girl in a cute outfit and then when their eyes hit their feet....  LOL  (By no means am I claiming my outfits are cute either...that's a whole 'nother post)

I guess after a weekend full of being with the bestie I've realized...you don't really find a lot of "besties" out there.  You don't often find people that you make a true connection with.  Some people, you just click with.  Some people are easy to work with, for example.  I have a supervisor that rocks and frankly, has made it difficult to have thoughts of leaving my job.  Even if I begin to think that it's better for my family - I too think of the possibility of losing friends that i've made.  

Life connections are so important.  Important as women, as moms, as humans.  "We're humans, Mom.  GOOD humans!" ~Eden 08-2010.  It isn't often that you find true human connections or friends and sometimes, for me, the importance of those connections overshadows other things.  

Two of my doctors and good friends (Delivered Eden and Isla) left recently and I really struggled with this.  I struggled with the sentiment of it all.  The connection i had with them, the fear of losing touch.  All sounds so dramatic, but it does create a phase or chapter in your life and looking back, it will I'm sure be sweet memories.  

I've always been a sucker for sentiment and 'sweet memories'.  So in the changing time in my life maybe that's what I need to focus on.  Today's change...heartache...struggles...they'll all be considered a 'phase' in my life and months, years, maybe even decades from now I'll look back on it with fondness and remember this phase or chapter and remember the good in it.  I'll remember the lesson in it.  The laughter in it.  Right?!  

Yes! I will.  Amen! lol