Night Terrors!

Night terrors are awful and tonight Eden had one.  I don't truthfully know the true definition of a night terror, but would assume that this was one.  She's had a handful of them in her little lifetime...too many, in my opinion!  

I'm sitting in my office gleefully enjoying the silence of sleeping babes and peacefully ignoring any housework or chores when I hear a dreadful sound that brings chills to me even as I think of it.  It was a scream of terror, a shriek, a scream that could only mean bad things.  I immediately ran to Eden's room to see what was the matter.  I flung open the door to see her thrashing in her bed, eyes closed tightly.  Of course, I began immediately asking what was wrong.  Touching her only made it worse at first.  She thrashed and flailed her arms and legs and was screaming with tears pouring and her voice going hoarse.  I grabbed her by the shoulders and gently shook her, calling her name.  When that didn't work I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely like she was an infant.  I pressed my lips against her little ear and spoke loudly and said "Mama's here, Eden.  Wake up!  Mama's here.  It's OK.  Mama's here."  For several minutes I repeated this torturous phrase.  I began rocking her back and forth and scratching her back (something that normally is very soothing to her).  She was now limp and might have seemed lifeless in my arms, if it weren't for the incessant sobbing and screaming.  She wouldn't talk.  I even tried prying her little eyes open, but nothing seemed to wake her from this screaming/sobbing state.  I forcefully positioned her limp little body into a sitting position and asked her if she wanted a drink of water.  I brushed her hair back from her wet face and kept telling  her it was OK.  She was quieter now, but her eyes were still all but closed and she continued sobbing.  Christian came into the room, obviously hearing that I hadn't been able to calm her and wrapped his arms around us both and spoke into her ear "It's OK honey.  Mommy and Daddy are here."  She was began to get more and more quiet and sipped the water Christian brought into the room.  Eyes still closed, she was quiet now with the exception of a small whimper.  

I laid her back down and tucked her in.  Now she opened her eyes a little.  Glassy, they looked past me.  I tried talking to her and asking her if she'd had a bad dream.  She didn't really answer.  Now she was quiet and seemed to be trying to listen with her little eyes barely open and now looking more at me.  I told her not to have any more bad dreams, but to think of nice things like Disney World and princesses!  She nodded and whimpered some more and snuggled up to her little lovies.  (tiny receiving blankets she's carried since she was an infant)  

In those moments, those moments that felt like hours, I felt helpless.  I always do in these situations.  There's noting more you want to do than to bring them "out of it".  You want them to come out of it and out of their pain, out of the bad that their little minds have created.  As I closed the door, I pulled it to just a crack and said, "I love you, Eden.  Mama's just down the hall if you need me."  

I couldn't help but tear up a little as she nodded and rolled over into her covers.  Oh to shield her from all the bad in the world.  To shield her from all the hurt.  Wouldn't it be lovely? Then, as I lay in bed trying to sleep (something I'm obviously having no luck with tonight) I thought that God must have the same feelings of helplessness sometimes.  "Oh, Tiffany" He must say "Wake up!  I'm right here.  Daddy's right here.  It's OK. "  But there are so many times I haven't run to him.  I don't wake up.  I continue to cry and scream and stay in my 'bad dream'.  How sad it must make Him to see me suffer!  

There are some things, some perspectives you can only appreciate after you've become a mother yourself or perhaps just loved someone so much you'd give your life for them.  For, that tiny little girl in that big bed in there is a piece of my heart.  God knows my heart.  God knows how I ache when she aches and how I hurt when she hurts.  How painful it is to see her when she's in that moment.  My heart aches a little for God today, as I can only imagine the heartache he must feel when He sees us hurting and He can't bring us out of it.  

Food for thought, friends.