I need not tell you which branch we visited yesterday. Those in the nearest surrounding counties could tell you. We started our day out after lunch and before afternoon naps at Target to pick up a few things. Once we were done there we headed over to the library, as it was overcast and didn't seem quite warm enough to warrant a pool day. We had gone to Target in search of a cheap umbrella stroller, as ours was in an "accident" by the hands of Aunt Alex (a blog for another day!) a few months back. We were delighted to find a cute and cheap umbrella stroller and went on our merry way to the library. In the parking lot of the library, my plans to use the said purchased umbrella stroller were foiled by the plastic Nazis that used zip ties on the stroller's packaging. After a few minutes of trying to McGyver my way through the zip ties with my keys, I gave in and thought to myself "How bad can the library be without a stroller". Afterall, Isla is learning to walk holding my hand for short amounts of time and I figure I could entertain her with the toys while Eden selected books.
3 minutes into the door, we had to make a bathroom trip for Mommy and a diaper change. We emerged from the bathroom feeling better and ready to officially start our library excursion. Eden honed in on a Barbie pop-up book and was no longer interested in selecting books. Isla was intrigued with the puzzle table, so I began to look around. I said to Eden a few feet away "Oh, Eden...we need to get your summer reading program guide! I didn't realize it has already started!" The children's section attendant must have heard me and walked up about that time with a brochure that she stuck basically under my nose. Trying to start on a positive note, I said "Oh thank you!" After taking one she said, "Do you need another?" I said "Oh, that's OK. One will do." She stopped, turned to look at me and asked "Do you have more than ONE child?" I paused. Wow, was she implying that it was against some library code to only take ONE summer program brochure if you had TWO children? "Yes..." She produced another brochure and said firmly, "Um, then you need TWO brochures." I took the 2nd brochure and shoved them in our library bag and walked away. "Geez, lady. Chillax!" I thought to myself. I went over to the puzzle table where Isla was now sitting at a chair and happily shoving as many puzzle pieces into her mouth as possible. She looked up at me and grinned as slobber dripped from her lips. "Isla! No, not in your mouth!" I snatched them up and put them back where they belonged. I hadn't brought the diaper bag in. Should I wipe them off on my shirt? I glanced to see if the library witch was watching. She wasn't, so I decided on air-dry and chuckled to myself that this would be small revenge for her ugliness. lol
"Eden, do you want to pick out some books?" Turning to Eden, she was still absorbed in Barbie land. "Look, Mama, see how cool this is? And this flap even comes up! And see, she's got something in here. Cool, huh!" I struggled to pay attention to what Eden was saying as I was still cleaning up puzzle pieces off the floor. Isla had now moved to a new puzzle, so I felt safe in saying "Eden, did you hear Mommy? Do you wanna go ahead and pick out some books? We don't have much time. Remember, Mama said this will have to be a short trip since we don't have the stroller." Eden was quiet. "Eden...yooohooo. Eden! Go ahead and pick out some books and we can put the Barbie book in our bag to check out too. OK?" Just then, I heard a giggle. I turned to see Isla was no longer 2 feet behind me at the puzzle table. Instead, she was in the library bathroom....with her hands IN THE TOILET! "Isla!" I probably didn't use my library voice. Why oh, WHY hadn't I closed the door to the bathroom when I came out of it? And why did I think that no stroller was a good idea again? I scooped Isla up quickly and ran back to Eden. I nicely demanded she stay put and within eye sight of the bathroom. Then commenced the sanitizing. Thankfully the kid-friendly bathroom had a nice two-step stool up to the sink, but still - we were both sopping wet by the time we were "clean". And I'm sure their attempt to "Go Green" with only a hand dryer instead of paper towels didn't help. I cursed the green movement as I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
"Eden, have you picked out any books?" I spoke to her, but her nose was still firmly in the Barbie book. I took Isla back towards the puzzle table and grabbed 2-3 books on a shelf near there. "Hey, do you want to keep reading and Mama will just pick out some books as a surprise for you, Eden?" I heard another giggle and Isla was headed back towards the bathroom at full speed. She really doesn't walk anymore...only running. I caught her this time, but only by running. After scooping her up, I caught the glare of the library attendant. OK, so maybe it was time to leave. "Eden, honey, pick a few books. Please!"
Eden left the Barbie book and headed towards another section that she normally enjoys. I was relieved, but held Isla in my arms and tried to browse the books that were easily viewed on the top shelf and toss them into our bag. I looked up and found Eden playing with puppets. Isla was now whining "shhhhhh. Honey, it's OK. Let's get a few books for sissy and we'll go bye-bye". Isla is such the mocking bird. "Honeeeeeeeey Oh Honeyyyyyy" She whined. I caved and put her back on the ground. She immediately ran away and behind the desk of the main circulation desk. That clerk gave me a fake friendly smile that said "Get your little monster out of here" as I whizzed by the "staff only" sign.
OK, abandon mission. "Eden, let's go now, please. Sissy is ready to go. Pick 1 more book and we'll go. Mommy's already gotten you a few and we really need to go." Isla wasn't having any of it "Goooo go go go. wahhhhhhhhh. Gooooooooo! Ma ma ma ma. Goooooo. Down Down Down. Peeeeez. Down peeez" My arms grew tired and I put her down, but grabbed hold of her hand as I threw a few more books into the bag. Eden selected one and I said "Great! Put it into the bag and you can help me check out!" Isla escaped once more as I was trying to retrieve my wallet from my bag and a kind woman took pity on me as she said "Ma'am I think you dropped something" as she handed me my license. "Ah, thank you so much. I'm sorry" I think I was apologizing to her in hopes the entire library might hear me. They didn't. The dirty stares continued as Isla wiggled, squirmed and screamed through our entire check-out process. I entered my pin to find we owed $6.00. Fine, I'd pay $60 to get out of this place! I swiped my debit card and continued. The ONE book Eden selected, a joke book showed up an error as we scanned it. We had to take it to the main circulation desk. OH the agony. By this time, Isla was in full screaming and I literally ran to the main circulation desk and pleaded with the woman "Can I still check this out? She really wanted this one and it gave me an error." Poor woman began typing feverishly. She was clearly doing a service to us all. We finally made it out to the parking lot and I'm sure none too soon for the library patrons and workers. Our 11 minutes I'm sure will go down in history as the noisiest and most disruptive. Lesson learned, no stroller = no trip to the library.
And a picture of the noisy monster...for good measure. :0)
No comments:
Post a Comment